I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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