I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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