i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i dont even know how to be here
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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