And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
pop tarts are not kleenex
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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