and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
