He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
