Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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