I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize