she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
