Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
