did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
