And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
