Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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