3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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