I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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