"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We need a shit load of segways right now
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize