She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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