If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Mom said you looked used
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
