eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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