Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
