yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
