just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
