I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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