I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize