I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize