I accidentally had phone sex last night
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
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I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
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Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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