I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
