Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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