gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just pee around me
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize