it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
