Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
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He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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