I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
