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So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
