her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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