My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize