question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
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My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
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You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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