can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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