I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
