Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
