The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
