Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
