The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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