You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
