i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
