You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
