David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
