I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
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I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
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You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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