yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home