Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
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Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
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I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.