Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex

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(703): the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex http://tfl.nu/ydbw

Replies (31) Good night (5258) Bad night (666)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...

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(720): I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands... http://tfl.nu/51q8

Replies (25) Good night (1343) Bad night (4024)
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(330): View more from Ohio

theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.

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(330): theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that. http://tfl.nu/wccj

Replies (11) Good night (5353) Bad night (2306)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us

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(603): stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us http://tfl.nu/v63w

Replies (6) Good night (5042) Bad night (776)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.

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(480): Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars. http://tfl.nu/f73b

Replies (14) Good night (8410) Bad night (893)
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(503): View more from Oregon

One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.

(503): View more from Oregon

By 8 I mean 9.

(503): View more from Oregon

And by 9 I mean 10.

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(503): One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party. (503): By 8 I mean 9. (503): And by 9 I mean 10. http://tfl.nu/vux8

Replies (62) Good night (3258) Bad night (4997)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice

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(313): Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice http://tfl.nu/wuko

Replies (11) Good night (3289) Bad night (987)
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(330): View more from Ohio

You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.

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(330): You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower. http://tfl.nu/aao1

Replies (6) Good night (1348) Bad night (457)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.

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(301): I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had. http://tfl.nu/epuv

Replies (5) Good night (927) Bad night (405)
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(585): View more from New York

I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.

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(585): I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING. http://tfl.nu/4rg4

Replies (14) Good night (1378) Bad night (364)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans

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(218): I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans http://tfl.nu/y0vw

Replies (1) Good night (832) Bad night (270)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?

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(612): At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game? http://tfl.nu/97sa

Replies (4) Good night (1104) Bad night (223)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

if i bang your brother are we still cool?

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(412): if i bang your brother are we still cool? http://tfl.nu/9e2i

Replies (5) Good night (810) Bad night (282)
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(585): View more from New York

Can you rollerblade?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

No, why?

(585): View more from New York

Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.

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(585): Can you rollerblade? (617): No, why? (585): Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality. http://tfl.nu/m5ec

Replies (3) Good night (816) Bad night (318)
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(760): View more from California

I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.

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(760): I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL. http://tfl.nu/3gpf

Replies (3) Good night (310) Bad night (234)

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