dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
Pick me up at 9.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her