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• (440): View more from Ohio

  i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  Probably

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.

  (682): View more from Texas

  Only you could get away with that.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Hold me and let me compliment your butt

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• (863): View more from Florida

  She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hate my life now

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