turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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