you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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