THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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