you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize