You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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