I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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