3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
love makes seman taste better
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
