Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
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