Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
