You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
