Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
