Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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