I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We're too hungover to prance.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
