she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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