we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
